Is Happiness a Thing of the Past?

Blog 4
Do you remember the days when a friend would randomly knock on your family's door and ask for you to come out and play? If you are someone who wasn't able to experience these days before the use of text messaging then you would most likely question your friend as to why they didn't text or call you before coming over.

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Chapter 14 in the book "Alone Together" covers issues such as parent's addicted to their BlackBerry phones and teens who would like to receive more attention from their parents and peers. Cell phones today might as well be glued to our hands. The majority of people in America are so connected to technology that the thought of ever being away from their cell phone is painful. We have adapted the cell phone into our society. With a touch of a button, cell phones keep us connected to the rest of the world. Before the text addiction began things were a lot slower, and no one glanced at their phones as much as they do now. Checking a text message has become so addictive that people now expect immediate responses. A student who was interviewed in chapter 14 said that he believed the maximum time to respond back to a text should be no longer than 10 minutes.

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So why is it that people need so much attention today? I would say it's because we demand speed. We want everything quick and when its not we wonder why that is. People's patients my own included have really grow to be very thin. When texting first began, it was just a way to send a simple message similar to that of a pager. Now we break up and say I love you or even send important personal messages via text rather than a phone call. Why is it okay to tell someone that there loved one died through a text. Is sending a text no longer an impersonal way to say hello? In the new generation of "texters" it seems like texting is just as appropriate as an in person conversation.

Additionally, I find it sad in the book "Alone Together" to read stories of teens who are very sad that their parents won't even take a second out of their day to glance up at their child. One teen said that before the BlackBerry phone became popular his father who is a Dr. used to communicate more. His father would read paper books and would glance up to chat with his son. Now because he is so consumed with his cell phone he will do work as well as read on it and never once tries to break away and spend time with his son.

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If you are a person who clings to your cell phone and feels weak without it in your hand, do you think you have a cell phone addiction? Most people  may not even realize how often they glance at their phone. They also may not realize how important it is to put the phone away and acknowledge the people around you.

I have heard about contest were families and friends are now going out to dinner and placing their phones face up on the table. The first person to pick up their phone at dinner has to pay for everyone's meal. To me this is a great idea but at the same time is it not sad that we have to create rules now just to enjoy our dinner with friends? I am a lover of technology don't get me wrong, but just like anything it should have it's usage limits. I wonder now how far technology will take us. I also wonder in which direction will technology pull us. It's benefits were originally
speed and ease, but now its downside is a lack of communication in our society.

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What I have learned from the book "Alone Together" is that we all need to take a minute to reflect on our past, present and future and began to look at whether or not we are too consumed with staying connected to the internet. Maybe we are abusing the gift of technology, and we are forgetting the ones we love. I believe it would be a good idea to turn off the phone and to create at least one hour a day where you give yourself time to socialize face to face with someone or to read a good paperback book. We should not be alone together we need to fix this communications issue and not allow a text to be an appropriate way to tell someone you love them or you are leaving them. Additionally, we should keep in mind that technology may be around forever but the people you love will not.

Dirty Little Secrets

Blog 3

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Have you ever had a problem that you needed help with, but you had no one to turn to for advice? I think it is safe to say that everyone at some point has wanted to share a secret or ask for advice about something, but was just too afraid to share with another person. The internet has allowed a way for true confessions to be shared around the world. Anonymously millions of Americans get on the internet and post questions and confessions onto different sites such as PostSecret.com or Ask.com.

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PostSecret.com is a cool site where people can either send in a hand drawn post card or fill out a card online. The cards will often have drawings and of course little secrets on them that people want to confess anonymously. You may be wondering why anyone would want to share deep secrets with complete strangers. Well the fact is sometimes people just want to get something off of their chest, or to see if anyone else can relate to what they are going through.

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In my personal opinion it is not that odd that our society would feel more comfortable sharing secret via the internet to total strangers than to speak with someone in person. It is the cyber world we have come to know. The cyber punks and Facebook fanatics are way more interested in be social online and connecting with online friends who they don’t have to leave the house to chat with.

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In a recent debate in my communications class we discussed why or why not someone would feel the need to post a very controversial secret to the world. A few of my classmates argued that people seek attention and they feed off of others responses. The rest of us suggested that it wasn’t necessarily attention they were seeking, but more of a sense of community and advice from others in similar situations. Maybe it could be that when someone makes a post about a bad experience they are dealing with and others post the same feelings or maybe something worse, it then makes both persons feel a little less alone.

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A good thing about internet communities is that it helps many people feel important. Sometimes everyone just needs someone to vent to.  When there is no one to turn to at home, school or work the internet gives people a place to feel needed. Some sites allow people to make comments to what people post but some sites you just post confessions and no one makes any comments back.

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Additionally the internet can be a dangerous place. Aside from it being a place to chat with friends it can also be a place where cruelty from strangers can occur. Today, people will read a confession, and tease or say hurtful words to the person to whom the post belonged to.  One thing we should keep in mind on the internet is that these people are strangers and they do not personal know us or our situations. People can make anything seem wrong, and everyone is unique so we all have our own opinions. We build technology that can leave us vulnerable in new ways, and we expected to be nurtured when we share something personal, but sadly that may or may not happen. I hope that for most confessional sites leave people feeling better for being able to vent, and knowing that they are not alone.

I'd Rather You Not Call!

Blog 2

Why is it that most people in 2014 would rather not receive a phone call? In the book "Alone Together", chapter 10 teaches us about the feelings a few people Turkle interviewed have towards receiving and making phone calls. Audrey is a teenage girl who the author Sherry Turkle, questions about her methods of communications. Audrey, is not a fan of speaking in person or over the phone with anyone. Audrey is a shy girl who in a group of friends tends to stay quite. It is noted that in most groups you have your social friends who are fine with speaking to anyone, and then the shy type of friends who would rather stay off to the side from everyone else around them.

Today, technology has made it very easy for people who are both good at communicating and bad to stay connected. With the advancement of cell phones and social networking society can have multiple relationships going on without ever leaving the house. Audrey is not alone in her mindset of wanting to stay away from the phone. A personal phone call makes many people feel uncomfortable. People like to take their time on what to say when ask a question. The face to face or over the phone interactions we have force us to choose an answer right away, and it allows no time for rephrasing words if what you said to began with was wrong.



The beauty of a text message is that we can type out our response and erase it as many times as needed until we feel comfortable with the answer we are about to send. Text also allows us breathing room to take the time we need to respond. If it is time to eat dinner you can reply later to the text message. I can fondly remember when my mother was learning how to use her cell phone. She felt it was necessary when someone called her phone to answer it immediately even if she was in the middle of doing something.

For people who grew up without any caller ID on their devices, it was a strange adaption to having the convenience to know who it was who called and how simple it was to called the person back, or to send a text message telling them you are busy. One of the cool features on my smartphone is the application that pops up when someone calls me. If  I am unable to answer the call my phones gives options of a return text message to send out immediately to the person calling.



Another point chapter 10 makes is how easy it is to live through your own created avatar on site such as Myspace and Facebook. If you are someone who is not a fan of the personal interactions you can create blogs and avatars that will allow you to meet friends online and to speak about all your personal experiences you otherwise would not tell anyone. Audrey is very vocal on her online accounts and often speaks to her online community about her experiences in school.  She also comments in the chapter about her many virtual lives currently in play.



Audrey tries to avoid what she refers to as the spillover effect. This occurs when you join an online site and you know people in real life who are on the site as well. People can post things that are not true to make them feel better or sound better to other people. Audrey speaks of a guy who was made fun of at school for his online persona by girls who knew the real him and not who he was pretending to be on the site. For Audrey, what happens on the internet should stay on the internet to avoid the spillover effect.



Technology gives us options. It allows us to make decision everyday on whether or not we want to be someone else, or if we want to perhaps make our true selves more known. It is each persons choice whether or not to answer a call or answer a text. We can exclude our self from the outside world or we can virtually jump into many online communities and feel welcomed that way.


(If you are a victim of Cyber Bullying there is help follow the link here.)